So it's one o'clock in the morning, and I'm sitting here at the computer blogging and Vance is lying on the floor beside my chair crying. And I don't know what to do with him. He will not sleep through the night. What he wants is for me to get him out of bed and hold him, and to fall asleep in the chair with him. Every night. And if I try to put him back in his crib, he screams and screams. I am trying real hard not to get Jordan involved in this, because he works a dangerous job, and he needs to get his sleep. But some nights, Jordan is the only one to get him to sleep. For a couple nights, he would go back to sleep after a very stern talking to from me, but now that is not working.
I am now trying the no mister nice guy approach. I am not going to hug and cuddle him which he wants, and that is why he is lying on the floor crying. I want him to realize that getting up with mom in the middle of the night is not fun, and he should just stay in bed and leave me alone.
I am beyond frustrated right now. He is two years old! Any advice for a mother who is about to lose her sanity????
8 comments:
I don't know if it will help Vance, but this kind of advice helped me in a similar situation many years ago.
Kneel down on the floor by him, gather him into your arms and tell him you love him, that he needs to get into his own bed, and then say a prayer with him. If he will see if he will help you with the prayer. Then put him back to bed, and pray some more. It is so important for him to feel your love, and yet to get the sleep you need you surely need God's help.
A special blessing for Vance may even help. Good luck, we all feel your pain, been there!!!!
stay consistent with being stern. but when he does sleep without you having to rock him .....make a big deal about it the next morning about what a big boy he is. We are still working with Josh...he tries to sneak into our bed every morning around 4am. I always have to walk him back to his room and tuck him back in and leave again...all without saying anything. hope it helps
Is he sleeping in a crib still? I hope I don't sound to dumb saying this but, on Supernanny she has the parent sit next to the crib without looking at or talking to the kiddo until he fell asleep. Sometimes it seemed to take a long time. Then every night she had the mom scoot a little farther from the bed until she is out the door. I'm sure there is a much better explination in a supernanny book somewhere but she sure seems to work magic. Good luck and hopefully you are all getting good sleep soon!
Ohhh, I totally feel your pain. Calet was doing that for awhile and I didn't know what to do! I had 2 kids in the room next to her, an exhausted resident on the other side of her wall, and renters below her! It wasn't like I could let her scream it out. Plus, there is no way I get any sleep while she is screaming and I'm already exhausted.
Super Nanny does the thing where you gradually move yourself further and further out of the room. But that takes time and I have other kids to get to bed... I finally just picked a long weekend when her screaming would do the least damage and let her cry it out. I'd go in a few times and tuck her back in bed without talking to her. (I've since heard you shouldn't go back in at all as that reinforces the screaming, but I couldn't do that). After 3 or 4 days, it got a lot better and now she goes to bed pretty easy. There are nights when I lay beside her bed for a few minutes and hold her hand, but for the most part, she is fine on her own now.
Good luck. I have totally been there and it is so hard!
Just loose it, there's no point in maintaining it when it's demise is inevitable. I lost my sanity years ago, maybe they went to the same place? I think the only way to temporarily get it back is to go to an all day spa.
O.k. I'll try to help. Something that has helped a bit for me is routine and if that doesn't work sometimes sitting with them, then weaning off of that to just coming and going, baby steps. This might now work but worth trying. Good luck!
I might be the only heartless mom out there but instead of weaning, I go cold turkey when it comes to changing habits or routines with Isaac. I had also heard of this Super Nanny method that two other people mentioned, and it seems to work. I've even heard of an out-of-room method where you sit outside the door, and each night you gradually reduce the time spent outside the door. Somehow it really helps children. It sounds like Vance knows how to work his way around or through you (not fun!!!) so maybe kick on the ole' i-pod for a night, turn off the monitor if you use one, and let him go at it. He WILL eventually stop. Just for comfort: When we decided to let Isaac cry it out at night, he cried for 2-1/2 hours straight the first night. The second night, he cried for 1-1/2 hours. The third night he cried for 15 minutes. After that, he has never had to cry himself to sleep. Those were VERY painful nights, but sooooo worth it.
Have you tried striking him? You know set yourself as the dominant mammal? He'll fear the wrath and just start doing what he is told! Just kidding people! Calm down.
Maybe we should arrange Vance and Karli's marriage, too, because then they can wake up and scream at each other every night! :) Isn't that the worst? The only thing that works for us is to make a gigantic deal about her NOT waking up, with lots of rewards, praise, and love, and when she does throw a fit in the middle of the night, I don't talk to her or make eye contact with her. Who knows if it will ever pay off? Hopefully Vance will snap out of it soon and give you some peace and quiet and rest!
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